Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

I have tried extremely hard to be a good boy this year, I even found myself saying yes when the Presbytery Clerk asked me to become an Interim Moderator! I admit to raising the manse issue again at General Assembly, however in the immortal words of Clark Gable in “Gone with the wind”, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn”! Apologies, since this is the season of giving!

Still, I write my wish list to you in hope…

1.     Can the large Presbyteries become places of mission and inspiration? (Because it seems to me they’ve settled into the style-mix of old Presbytery and mini-General Assembly which will ultimately only manage decline)

2.     Can the legal minded committees/folk at 121 get together and form a group, as previously wished, to seek ways in which to dispense with many of our outdated, irrelevant and archaic rules and regulations? (Because pickles are not just for Christmas)

3.     Can we finally get a housing allowance organised and allow ministers to live in their own homes if they choose to do so? (I know some will want to stay in a big hoose but at least let us be given the freedom to choose)

4.     After many years of stipends going down in real terms, and what with the cost of living going up and up, can we set stipends at a more realistic level?

5.     Can we have a cap on salaries at 121, in the interests of fairness and equality which we are all supposed to share in the Kirk? (We seem to accept a fait accompli on that one whilst the troops in parishes accept relative equality)

6.     Can you give me the will to keep scrolling faster? (You know the comments I need to avoid, like the “I had Weetabix for breakfast” variety)

7.     Can you give me an updated Radical Action Plan that was supposed to be implemented in 3 years from 2018? (Because we are now about to enter 2026)

8.     Article 3, it can’t go on…revise it please, Santa!

9.     Can I have a new version of the Bible to help with my sermons as I’m told it is good to keep things Bible-based? (My Beano Annual is helpful but apparently not enough!)

10.  Can we keep climate change on the agenda? (Sometimes it slips off the agenda when we have important things to consider like the colour to paint the Church doors)

11.  Any work you can do to help change mind-sets would be welcome! (The Church Without Walls Report of 25 years ago said this was the most important aspect of reform and, to be honest, many are struggling)

12.  Can you help those who give up on Church because “their Church is closing” to see beyond?

13.  Can you access the Assembly Trustees meetings to tell me what’s actually going on as the monthly updates tell me zero?

14.  Can you please give Commissioners at General Assembly more than 3 minutes to change the course of direction? (I know this is a big ask since the GA has been reduced to a long weekend!)

15.  Chocolate.

16.  Christmas cake.

17.  Ice-cream (Mackies honeycomb please)

18.  Caramel shortcake from M&S.

Satan – oops, slip of the keyboard there – Santa, hope you can get as much as possible of the above into your big red bag. Happy Christmas to you and to everyone in the Kirk!

Yours, waiting on the sack,

RevRabRants x